1. |
Built Upon Sand
01:10
|
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2. |
Best Laid Plans
02:25
|
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|
Ripped from my hands
Those best laid plans
A gut-punch to my sensibilities
Life throws curves
Frays the nerves
Undercut by the instability
Those constants I relied on
Stripped away, security gone
In the depths of the unknown
I can't find a solid foot-hold
I did all I could to prevent this
Yet I'm still in the abyss
We spend today
Building these webs
To hold tomorrow
With one fell swoop
Those cords are cut
And we're left holding sorrow
Lean not on your own understanding
Just so hard to let go
We spend today
Building these webs
To hold tomorrow
With one fell swoop
Those cords are cut
And we're left holding sorrow
That need to be in control
Runs deep
So hard to break it
|
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3. |
Burdens
03:22
|
|||
|
On the verge of a panic attack
All the worst possibilities in my head
After months of holding strong
Resilience cracks, I can't go on
Just had to function
Hold onto hope
Be a rock for the ones I love
Until I couldn't cope
And now I'm shaking
World spinning, mind racing
Been holding this weight so long
A shell of a man, I am undone
Why do I shoulder burdens
Like I'm the only one to hold them
Caught in between, in between
Responsibility
And knowing I've got nothing left
And now I'm shaking
World spinning, mind racing
Been holding this weight so long
A shell of a man, I am undone
I don't want this, I can't hold this
Yet I cant't let go, all I know is the rescuer
And now I'm shaking
World spinning, mind racing
Been holding this weight so long
A shell of a man, I am undone
A shell of a man
I am undone
Why do I shoulder these burdens?
When they only pull me down
I need to love myself
Why do I shoulder these burdens?
I need to love myself
When they only pull me down
Yoke is easy, burden is light
But I'm holding on so tight
I need to love myself
Yoke is easy, burden is light
I need to love myself
But I'm holding on so tight
I need to love myself
|
||||
4. |
Just A Mirror
02:44
|
|||
|
Look into the eyes of the enemy
Feel the fury of their gaze
Staring back intently
Their values a plague
Disavow, Disdain
Take solace in your disgust
It's gonna be them or us
Lost in the slipstream of righteous rage
Leading with your fists in uncertain days
So self-assured pulling the trigger
You say they hate you you're just as bitter
We swallowed the poison pill
We donned the blinkered mask
Are we on a mirrored course?
Never bothered to ask
If this conflict has the same source
'Cos you both believe in force
Lost in the slipstream of righteous rage
Leading with your fists in uncertain days
So self-assured pulling the trigger
That other face that you hate
Is
Just
A
Mirror
Reduction to faceless enemies
A co-dependent bigotry
Justifying our hostility
Every excuse for our complicity
This conflict has the same source
You both believe in force
You both believe in force
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
I have become
So disillusioned
Challenging your attitude
And your xenophobic views
Going over this again
Arguments of culture and skin
When it's my family tree
And I am tied to thee
I have become
Alienated
And I have isolated
A self-imposed eviction
Avoidance of the friction
Pulling away
Jumped from family tree
And now so far from thee
Can't choose where I come from
But I've tried to hide it
Can't choose where I come from
But I've tried to change myself
Can't choose where I come from
But it no longer feels like home
It no longer feels like home
No longer feels like home
The values you've adopted
So far from who you were
Every time you speak those words
I am recoiling further
Can't choose where I come from
But I've tried to hide it
Can't choose where I come from
But I've tried to change myself
Can't choose where I come from
But it no longer feels like home
It no longer feels like home
|
||||
6. |
Hold On
04:02
|
|||
|
Before I know it it I've
Spent too much time
In the dark, In my pain
In my fear
So consumed with the ache
A waking nightmare
Captured by the moment
Emotions running rampant
A chain reaction of dread in my mind
And I'm drowning, I'm drowning inside
Take a moment and breathe
Just breathe
Still your mind, let it be
Take a moment and breathe
Just breathe
Hold on, hold strong
In those moments in time
When emotions engulf
Cos we all have days
Where it all gets too much
We lose our perspective
Just want to give up
Take a moment and breathe
Just breathe
Still your mind, let it be
Take a moment and breathe
Just breathe
Life
Is
Fraught
But
Things
Won't
Be this way forever
Please hold on
Dear God hold strong
With all of your might
And your knuckles pressed white
Hold on
Hold on tight it will get better
This distress won't last forever
|
||||
7. |
Imagebearer
04:23
|
|||
|
If I'm an imagebearer
Am I defined by how you see me?
The product of my insecurities?
The healed scar of my tragedies?
Expectations of my culture
Or rejection of the same?
If I'm an imagebearer
Am I ashamed of your name?
Culture-cringe in my heart
But your words flood my mind
Torn by my vision of you
And the framework they've entwined
Can I follow in spite of them?
Can I love you in spite of them?
Embodying what you said
Because of you, not them
If I'm an imagebearer
Why my dread for those who claim
To be your faithful followers
And distance myself from them?
Proud of their intolerance
Hypocrisy in their prayers
If I'm an imagebearer
Is my image tied to theirs?
If you can sweat blood in the garden
Stare down death on a cross
If you can forgive your killers
That's an image to be proud of
If you were a man of sorrows
Crown of thorns in your hair
If you conquered through suffering
That's an image I can bear
Am I an imagebearer?
Culture-cringe in my heart
But your words flood my mind
Am I an imagebearer?
Torn by my vision of you
And the framework they've entwined
|
||||
8. |
I Just Want You
03:38
|
|||
|
All the temptation
The frustration
The knots that we're tied in
Unmet expectations
Miscommunication
For better or for worse
I just want you
The depths I would dive
The lengths I would go
The fires I'd face
All the anxiety
Consuming entirely
Shadows on the soul
After the trauma
Echoes linger
Disrupting connection
I just want you
Let there be no doubt
Let truth ring out
I just want you
All the temptation
The frustration
The knots that we're tied in
Unmet expectations
Miscommunication
For better or for worse
I just want you
The depths I would dive
The lengths I would go
The fires I'd face
Just to bring you home
Let there be no doubt
Let truth ring out
I just want you
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
You were sure that I would walk away
when I saw how damaged you thought you were
Conditioned to expect rejection
'Cos that's all you thought you were really worth
When I think of what he did to you
The wounds you're carrying from his abuse
We just wanna be held
We just wanna be loved
A heart so battered when all you were longing for
Was someone that you could adore
Hopes driven off a cliff
By the tongue of the narcissist
But I'm not pulling away
Knowing that this is
Not the end of who you are
Determination to grow beyond
The lies that were forced in your head
Determination to make a better life
Than the one you have had
When you're reaching out
I'm reaching right back for you
When I think of what he did to you
Re–building what was so crushed and subdued
I'm down for life
And I know it will be
Worth the fight
This is a defiant love
In your corner whatever may come
This is an oath, a solemn pact
When you're reaching out
I'm reaching right back
This is an oath
A solemn pact
When you're reaching out
I'm reaching back
This is an oath
A solemn pact
When you're reaching out
I'm reaching right back
|
||||
10. |
Hope Crawls Forward
02:59
|
|||
|
So sick of making love to my pain
That parasitic mistress
No longer lost in crisis
And yet still we congress
The world will carry on
While I shut myself away
Lost in the feedback cycle
So sick of making love to my pain
It's left the sky a paler hue
Effects of trauma seeping through
It's left the sky a paler hue
Effects of trauma
So sick of making love to my pain
I need a better way
In all my fractured dreams
To learn to hope again
Envy for all the smiling ones
Their sunshine and my rain
I need a better way
So sick of making love to my pain
I need to hope
To find my hope
To spite my woe
I need to hope
Hope is not glassy-eyed naivety
Hope crawls forward
Iron-willed in spite of pain
Hope is courage and defiance
Of easy nihilism, jaded cynicism
And I will smile again
Hope crawls forward
And it won't be killed
Hope crawls forward
So sick of making love to my pain
That parasitic mistress
Learning to let go of her hand
Her empty promises
Denounce the lie that pain
Is all that life will give me in the end
Count my blessings
And I will smile again
|
||||
11. |
Painting Shadows
03:43
|
|||
|
This is the hand we were dealt, better get on with it
So we shut our doors and kept our distance
Doing our best with the world on hiatus
We all just want to survive the pandemic
But from the woodwork the voices are shrieking
“Free speech is over!”, the panic is spreading
Finger-pointing got them drawing lines
And fringe voices are on the rise
They prime with fear
Then stain with blame
Painting shadows around every corner
The world in hues of confusion, no solution
And with it comes the mental exhaustion
But giving into fear's helping no-one
Prime
Fear
Stain
Blame
They prime with fear
Then stain with blame
Painting shadows around every corner
Flailing for a sense of control
The conspiracy smears the soul
They prime with fear
Then stain with blame
Painting shadows around every corner
I reject their airbrushed fear
I paint hope
|
||||
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