So sick of making love to my pain
That parasitic mistress
No longer lost in crisis
And yet still we congress
The world will carry on
While I shut myself away
Lost in the feedback cycle
So sick of making love to my pain
It's left the sky a paler hue
Effects of trauma seeping through
It's left the sky a paler hue
Effects of trauma
So sick of making love to my pain
I need a better way
In all my fractured dreams
To learn to hope again
Envy for all the smiling ones
Their sunshine and my rain
I need a better way
So sick of making love to my pain
I need to hope
To find my hope
To spite my woe
I need to hope
Hope is not glassy-eyed naivety
Hope crawls forward
Iron-willed in spite of pain
Hope is courage and defiance
Of easy nihilism, jaded cynicism
And I will smile again
Hope crawls forward
And it won't be killed
Hope crawls forward
So sick of making love to my pain
That parasitic mistress
Learning to let go of her hand
Her empty promises
Denounce the lie that pain
Is all that life will give me in the end
Count my blessings
And I will smile again
credits
from Best Laid Plans,
released September 23, 2023
Features Chris Dies of Chasing South
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